


They Have Three Hearts, Actually

by thedarkestnightwillend



Category: Les Misérables (2012), Les Misérables - All Media Types, Les Misérables - Schönberg/Boublil, Les Misérables - Victor Hugo
Genre: M/M, That's really it, a lot of random octopus facts, nerdy enjolras?, yeah that works
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-01
Updated: 2020-06-02
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:00:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24487051
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thedarkestnightwillend/pseuds/thedarkestnightwillend
Summary: On a complete whim, Grantaire visits the zoo and manages to meet the prettiest nerd he has ever met. And of course, what do you do when you meet someone like that? You hide your fear of octopuses so you can keep talking to them.
Relationships: Enjolras/Grantaire (Les Misérables)
Comments: 17
Kudos: 70





	1. Circulatory Systems, Bitches!

Grantaire doesn’t normally go to the zoo. Specifically the aquarium building; the place is super hot and humid and it doesn’t do _shit_ for his hair. Plus sometimes the smell of fish gets to his head. But this one day, a random Tuesday in mid-April, Grantaire had nothing to do and a few extra bucks to spend, so he went to the zoo. He had no one to go with, so it was probably going to be a bit boring, but whatever. It’s a zoo, there are cute and fluffy animals. On occasion. 

So, he gets in the car and drives out to the zoo, gets a ticket, and walks in. It’s only perfect that _just as he gets in_ , it starts to rain much harder than physically possible, and he is _not_ giving up his ticket. Just his luck. And what better coincidence than the fact he is standing a few feet from the aquarium?

“Sorry hair,” He mutters as he opens the glass door. He is immediately hit in the face by the overwhelming aroma of salt water and fish. He looks outside. Anything is better than that.

About fifteen minutes later, he is looking at the “Rocky Shelf” exhibit. A very terrifying wolf eel stares at him, with the slack-jawed expression they usually have (he assumes. They just seem to be horrifyingly ugly enough to always have that face). A rockfish stares emptily at kelp, and a child next to him starts to cry.

“Mommy, it looks so _sad!”_ Yeah, fair reaction. Grantaire gets bored soon enough, and walks around to the sea anemones, which flail about in the artificial current created by their filter. They are all a bright orange color, and Grantaire makes a note that they would be very fun to paint. Watercolor, probably. On the left of one of the larger anemones, a large starfish is making its way over a large rock. Its hundreds of tiny feet are working their very hardest to move the body, and Grantaire can’t help but admire the determination. Good job, little starfish.

“Did you know that they have three hearts?” A guy says next to him. He is talking to his friend, and they both are interrupted by someone behind them.

“Actually, they don’t have a circulatory system. You’re thinking of an octopus.” Grantaire turns around to see a worker, walking about lazily. “A starfish is an echinoderm, they don’t have a centralized nervous system like we do.” Never has a man been considered hot when talking about a sea creature’s lack of a brain. Grantaire listens for a bit longer as the employee talks more about the starfish’s anatomy, and suddenly realizes he has been staring when the man takes notice of him.

“Hello?” Grantaire snaps back to reality. “Can I...help you?” The man looks at him peculiarly as Grantaire tries to come up with an answer.

“I...uh...no I just--yeah. Sorry, where is the…” Quick, Grantaire thinks of an ocean animal. “Octopus?” The employee nods, and points in the general direction of where it is.

“Right over there. I actually kind of specialize in them, I can walk you over there if you like?” Grantaire nods quickly. “Great! Are you interested in octopuses or are you just kind of...here?”

No, they are legitimately the most horrifying creation on this godforsaken planet.

“Yes! Love them! Really cool creatures, they are.” Goddammit, Grantaire. The employee nods enthusiastically, and they begin their walk over.

They arrive at a very large tank, in which a rock formation with several holes surrounds the inside. A few starfish are in the tank too, but they are stationary, unlike the previous one with the anemones.

“The rocks mimic the deep underwater shelves where the octopus usually lives.” Grantaire searches for the animal, not actually quite sure what he is looking for. They can camouflage, right? “Oh, by the way, my name is Enjolras.” Grantaire looks back to his accompanying octopus enthusiast, who has his hand outstretched.

“Nice to meet you, I’m Grantaire.” They shake hands, and Grantaire feels his stomach turn when the employee--Enjolras--makes eye contact with him. Dammit, blue eyes. Grantaire’s only weakness, apparently. Enjolras turns back to the tank.

“I’m not sure where she is hiding, but she is definitely somewhere…” He looks around, walking around the circular tank. “Aha! Found her! She’s in that little crevice, right there.” Grantaire peers into the dark corner, and is mildly startled by a long tentacle whipping out at the glass. The suckers make their way up the side, and a very, very, _very_ large animal creeps out of its previous hiding spot. “Meet Ophelia!” Enjolras says cheerfully. Grantaire looks at the beast, taking in the gigantic suckers circling each tentacle, the way the animal moves--gracefully through the water, each arm curling in a sort of rhythm--and most strikingly, the curious eyes it has. 

“She has...goat eyes.” Enjolras nods. “Sorry, I’ve just...never seen one in person before.” That’s not a lie, per se. Grantaire is still terrified.

“Ah, they are quite awe-striking, aren’t they?” Enjolras looks at the ginormous animal with a very warm expression. It’s like he’s looking at his own child, or a very close friend. He suddenly turns to Grantaire. “If you want to, I can take you back and you can meet her!” He elaborates, “Only for a little bit, though. I’m not entirely sure it’s allowed.” Grantaire stares at Enjolras for a moment. The sheer joy in the man’s eyes are a big clue as to how much he enjoys his job, and how much he loves this animal. Grantaire nods slowly.

“Yeah! Yeah, that would be really cool!” Enjolras nods decisively.

“Great! Follow me.”

<<<>>>

“So, Ophelia is a Giant Pacific Octopus,” Enjolras talks as they walk. “She is native to Northern Pacific waters. So like, Southern California to the Aleutian Islands, then all the way to Japan’s coast and down near Korea,” Enjolras and Grantaire get to the back room, where the tank opens up into the room. Enjolras opens a lock. “We have to lock it from the outside, or else Ophelia can learn how to open it on her own.” Grantaire tries to not look terrified for his life.

“Has it happened before?” Grantaire asks, struggling to not run away as Enjolras opens the top of the tank. 

“Yes, though I wasn’t working here yet. It was about...five or six years ago? One of the older keepers could probably tell you about it.” Enjolras looks into the tank, where Ophelia has moved into a space about three times smaller than she appears to be. “Ah, she probably needs something to convince her, doesn’t she?” Enjolras says to the air. “I’ll be right back!” Enjolras tells Grantaire to wait right there, and that he is going to grab a treat for Ophelia. Grantaire takes this moment to look around. In the corner of the room, there is what he assumes to be a broom closet or something similar. It isn’t marked. To his right, the tank and the appropriate filter mechanisms are clumped in the corner. The tank is gigantic. Probably about five hundred to six hundred gallons, though Grantaire is bad at guessing these things. He could probably ask Enjolras.

“I’m back! With crab this time!” Grantaire jumps as Enjolras comes in through the door holding a large bucket. Grantaire can’t help but be distracted by the childlike excitement Enjolras has gained at the prospect of playing with an octopus. As well as the arms. Carrying buckets all day must be some sort of a workout, huh?

“How long have you worked here?” Grantaire asks. Enjolras thinks for a moment.

“Four years? Yeah, four years this October. I’ve worked with Ophelia for three of them, though,” His face falls a little. “Sadly that does mean she is getting to the end of her life. However, she hasn’t always lived here, so I guess that’s good.” I look at him, and he elaborates. “We took Ophelia in when she was a little over a year old. We think. She had a cracked beak, and unfortunately that was causing her so much pain that she couldn’t eat,” He looks at Ophelia, who has begun to move towards him. He looks down into the tank. “I think she knows I have crab. Can you see it in my face, Ophie?” He laughs, and leans over the edge of the glass, where her tentacles have started to climb up towards his hands. 

“Can she recognize you by your face?” Grantaire asks, still very wary of the animal. He quickly backtracks. “When I said I love octopuses, I mean that I think they are cool in nature, not that I know a lot about them. By the way.” Enjolras nods, but still explains.

“Well, yes actually! Whenever I come in she usually expects me to have treats, though. I think I spoil her too much,” Grantaire walks closer to the tank, forgetting about the octopus for a moment. “Though what can I say? She is just a little sweetheart, isn’t she?” Enjolras wiggles his finger at Ophelia, and she touches a tentacle to it. It wraps around his finger, and he giggles quietly. “Do you want to say hi?” Grantaire is pulled back to reality and realizes what Enjolras is asking. 

“Uh, I mean...Didn’t you say you’d get in trouble? Maybe? I don’t want that to happen,” Grantaire rambles, completely regretting all choices leading up to now.

“You said you’ve never seen one in person, right?” Enjolras asks.

“What? Oh, yeah. No, never seen one before.” Grantaire nods.

“Are you scared?” Grantaire stammers for a second, and Enjolras hides a small snicker. “You don’t have to hide it, they are kind of intimidating at first glance. They’re one of the largest species of octopus out there, after all.” Grantaire puts his hands in his pockets. Does he want to impress the pretty boy or not?

“Yeah, I’ll say hi.” Enjolras claps his hands, and smiles giddily. 

“Great! Here, stand next to me,” Grantaire moves slowly next to him, and Enjolras puts his hand in, letting Ophelia play with his fingers again. “Just slowly move your hand, and touch lightly with a few fingers,” Enjolras speaks quietly and calmly. “She’ll probably appreciate it more if you’re a bit calmer, by the way,” Grantaire turns sharply to Enjolras.

“What?” Enjolras breathes a laugh. 

“One sucker has as many as ten thousand neurons. They can taste your feelings, because they are chemicals going through your body. Ophelia can feel your adrenaline,” Grantaire looks back to the octopus, who is still hugging onto Enjolras’ hand.

“You mean to tell me she can literally smell fear?” Enjolras laughs loudly. 

“Yes! Well, taste, but close enough.” Enjolras thinks for a moment. “Here, can I try something?” Grantaire nods slowly. Enjolras frees his hand from Ophelia’s tentacles, and gradually guides Grantaire’s hand to where his was before.

Pretty boy, pretty boy, pretty boy, _pretty boy…_

“There, she’ll taste me first. Give her a second,” Grantaire is still staring at Ophelia, trying his hardest to not implode. The tentacles find their way back onto Enjolras’ hand, and then onto Grantaire’s, as Enjolras steps back. The suckers lightly tug on Grantaire’s fingers, and he flinches. “Suckers?” Grantaie nods. “I call them octopus kisses.” Grantaire smiles, and eventually, Ophelia gets more interested, and starts to make her way up his forearm. 

“She’s trying to eat me.” Enjolras laughs.

“She can taste you already, don’t worry. She knows you’re not food. She already had some,” After a few more seconds of ‘octopus kisses’, Ophelia gets bored, and retreats back to her hiding spot. 

“That was...fun, actually.” Grantaire finally takes a deep breath, and Enjolras walks back up to the tank. He closes and locks it, waving goodbye and giving more baby talk to Ophelia.

“Yay! I’m sure Ophelia had fun too.” Enjolras looks down at the floor. “Will I see you again by any chance?” Grantaire looks at him, feeling his face color.

“I hope so. I think I like the zoo now.” Enjolras just laughs again.

Walking around the zoo afterwards, Grantaire can’t shake the feeling of the octopus kisses, which is probably due to the fact that it is a very strange feeling to someone who is not prepared or used to it. However, he also can’t forget Enjolras clasping his hand tight so it wouldn’t shake from blatant fear. He hopes he never does, actually. That was much too nice to let go of.

So, as he’s leaving, Grantaire decides to get a zoo membership.


	2. Octopuses Bring People Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Goofy boys in an aquarium lobby can be productive sometimes. Only sometimes, though.

Grantaire has had his membership for about five days. He had told himself that he needed to get a few days of work done before he could go to the zoo again, and besides, Enjolras has work to do. He didn’t execute that plan very well, evidently, as he is back at the zoo.

Grantaire tries to avoid the aquarium, trying to convince himself that polar bears are more interesting than anything else. It doesn’t last very long for him to get bored. A small voice in the back of his head wonders if Enjolras is even on shift, but he waves it away. Once inside the aquarium, he doesn’t immediately go to Ophelia's tank, but instead weaves around the building. It is shaped like a large circle, with one big ‘Open Ocean’ tank in the middle, and a bunch of smaller exhibits surrounding that. Besides the octopus (for reasons unrelated to the octopus), Grantaire’s favorite has to be the anemones. They have a nice color to them. 

Near the end of Grantaire’s weaving, he runs into the octopus genius himself. He is talking to a little girl, explaining how a seahorse uses its gills. 

“Dad, I want a seahorse!” The little girl says as she walks away. Good luck with that one, Dad. Enjolras looks up.

“Grantaire!” He smiles and waves, and Grantaire is momentarily left staring at the most adorable and blinding smile ever, but shakes off the freeze in his brain to walk over to the owner of the smile. The owner is arguably even better. “Grantaire, how have you been?” He asks when they get closer. They get out of the circle, and move to the lobby of the building where it’s less crowded. 

“I’ve been pretty good, I got a membership for the zoo when I was last here,” Grantaire says, looking at the ground so he doesn’t have to be attacked by that smile again. Enjolras laughs.

“Really? Immediately after, that’s fantastic,” Grantaire nods. “Oh, by the way, we were sneaky! My boss didn’t find out I snuck you in to say hi to Ophelia.” Grantaire looks up. Fuck it, he’s too pretty.

“That’s great!” Enjolras nods, still smiling a pleasant grin. Grantaire has a hearty amount of blush rising in his cheeks, and he laughs nervously. “I was kind of worried about that, actually.” 

“You didn’t have to be, I’m sure she would have been fine with it either way. Oh, Ophelia has been kind of missing you.” Enjolras elaborates, “She keeps expecting crab whenever more than one person is in that room.” Grantaire laughs, and Enjolras nods exceptionally fast. “Seriously! She wants treats whenever I have friends! But I’m sure she misses you. She’s not the only one, though.” Grantaire’s eyes widen, and he looks to Enjolras, who looks thoroughly red too.

“What?” Grantaire feels his voice crack. Enjolras shakes his head, trying to hide what he said. A few people look over at the two, trying to decipher what is going on between the two. Grantaire is very sure he resembles a sputtering baboon at this point, but he would need a mirror to be sure.

“Sorry!” Enjolras cringes at himself, “I...I meant like, I don’t get to do that often! No, well...God, how do I explain this?” Grantaire looks at him expectantly, and Enjolras sighs, “Well, I’ve never had a guy pretend he wasn’t terrified of octopuses before, so that was a first.” Grantaire looks blankly at the wall. Damn those pretty boys. Well, one pretty boy. It was one pretty boy that ignited the I-Need-To-Get-Myself-In-An-Awkward-Situation flame in Grantaire’s brain that day, and oh boy did that sucker burn.

“I wasn’t that obvious, was I?” Grantaire asks. Enjolras nods slowly, and then tries to backtrack as Grantaire buries his face in his hands.

“No! No, no it was fine! It was...kind of cute, actually,” Grantaire looks at Enjolras again, this time with a doubtful expression. “Well, okay,  _ I  _ thought it was cute. You may not have, but--ugh, this is a disaster. Can I start over?” Grantaire nods, still forcing himself to stare at the floor. The carpet is patterned with abstract waves. “So, okay. I think you’re cute--” Woah, “--and frankly, the interest in Ophelia when you were absolutely terrified was adorable.” Woah again, “You said you got a zoo membership, but to be honest, I do have to work most of the time. I’m actually supposed to be back very soon, so I’ll make this as quick as physically possible. Our time with Ophelia was really fun, and you’re really cute and funny and I’m kind of hoping I don’t ruin this any more than I already have, so...can I get your number?”  _ Woah again,  _ “Can we like, get coffee some time?”  _ Final woah! _ Grantaire legitimately can’t believe his luck. He looks up at Enjolras, and nods enthusiastically. 

“Yes! Yes, I am sorry I had to lie to you and an octopus for this to happen!” Grantaire reminds himself to never do that again. He is sure that everyone watching is very surprised he hasn’t been slapped yet. But Enjolras laughs, and Grantaire scribbles down his number on a random piece of paper. Enjolras takes it. 

“I guess I’ll text you later, then,” Enjolras says, realizing he has to get back to work. You know, octopuses and stuff. 

“Yeah, I guess you will.” Grantaire is caught up in that smile again, and leaves the building. He got the pretty boy to ask for his number. He might go on a coffee date with the pretty boy, holy shit!

He enjoys the zoo visit a lot more after that. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is so, so, s o short and I apologize for that however!! I hope it was enjoyable. still pretty OOc but y'all seemed to like it so whatever, but here we go!
> 
> 1\. i'm not entirely sure if octopuses can actually "miss people" per se, but let's just say that ophelia knows that enjolras needed a cute boy. she's a great wingwoman  
> 2\. also, i recently learned that ophelia can translate from Greek to "helper" so. there's further proof that she is enjolras' wingwoman  
> 3\. i dunno who enjolras' boss is. i don't know why but i did use a female pronoun?? you may decide  
> 4\. oh and this is completely irrelevant but i firmly believe that this enjolras is like. 5'3" and u can't tell me otherwise he just has short person energy (see i can say that because i in fact. am 5'3")   
> 5\. grantaire overcomes his fear of octopuses thanks to ophelia, and i like to think that she is a proud mother of about...50,000 children :) (i'm not kidding they have that many and then die a few months later. the life cycle of an octopus i guess)
> 
> that is the end of my weird ass notes!! but i'm glad y'all liked it and i hope u liked this ending! thank you for reading! :)

**Author's Note:**

> hello and thank you for reading!!  
> so here we go
> 
> 1\. i'm not actually sure where i want this to be set but i kept imagining my local zoo so. go with whatever.  
> 2\. octopuses actually can taste feelings!! it is one of my favorite random facts i know simply because, exactly how i wrote it, they are one of millions of animlas that can actually "smell fear"  
> 3\. if you want more octopus knowledge, go read The Soul Of An Octopus by Sy Montgomery! it's where i got most of my information but it's also a rad book either way. so. go forth get some cool reading done  
> 4\. this is potentially really OOC but like. i feel like enjolras just fuckin LOVES some sort of animal and octopuses are just really cool so. there you go
> 
> hope you enjoyed! :) find me on tumblr @/the-gayest-eponine, thanks again for reading!! <333


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